Co-lifing/Co-writing

Co-writing

Co-writing 1.0 (the usual co-working version) is what you think it is. 

You show up, chat for a couple minutes about what you wanna write about, then do your writing individually, checking in at the end about what you got done.

Co-writing 2.0 (the co-lifing version) looks like this:

You show up, spend the first 5–10 minutes brainstorming notes on what you want to write about, and then for the next 30 minutes, you just talk to the other person, about whatever it is you wanted to write about, while they capture your words in a Google Doc. Then swap, do the same, and close with 30–40 minutes of editing the transcribed rough drafts into final form. 

That’s the co-lifing version. The difference for me was huge.

With co-writing 1.0, it still felt like

  • I had to drag my attention to the writing. Sure, I was in a container, and “supposed” to work on the writing, but it didn’t always mean my attention was there.
  • There was a tension between relating and working. The longer we initially hung out and talked, the less time to work.
  • My writing would get lost, I’d go into too much detail, it didn’t feel crisp, it would take days to get a simple blog post done.

With co-writing 2.0 on the other hand:

  • It felt so natural and easy. I just had to talk to the other person about whatever it is I wanted to write about, and in 30 minutes, I’d end up with a draft in roughly the right order of ideas with the right order of detail.
  • It’s such a unique kind of relatedness to know what someone has been thinking or writing on. Receiving and sharing this way feels really connecting with my friends, and there’s no tension between the relating and working parts—they are one and the same.
  • I don’t feel like I’m dragging or forcing or trying not to look bad anymore. I just show up, no homework or prep done, and something happens. I want all my life to be this way.

This is roughly the difference between 1.0 (co-working) and 2.0 (co-lifing) type containers. It’s really an insistence on

  • effortlessness
  • salience > accountability
  • meaningful social connection, rather than just hanging out together

I run my whole life via co-lifing now, and 40-hour work weeks really feel like a pool party every day 🏖

Everything is laid out, I just show up in various containers, and stuff effortlessly happens.

If I want to shift my life, I can simply shift my schedule. It’s nice to get edit access to the Google Doc running my life. 

Most of this came out of the pandemic + a lifetime of struggle with self-coercion and productivity. I ended up having a 10/10 social life during lockdown, and I intend to keep co-lifing since. 

I’m mostly interested in helping people incorporate this into their lives 1:1, and if it works well, posting more about it online. 

Don’t work your relationships. Make your relationships workable.